Jake Gordon

A Cave, a Snake and a Leprechaun

12th March 2001

At the crack of dawn we dumped our tent and got onto a small boat which took us a couple of hours up the river. I was travelling light - as light as I possible could for the two nights, taking just my small day bag with a roll mat tied to the top, and two water bottles dangling off the side. Once at the small, derelict buildings where the boat stopped, which resembled something out of Jurrasic Park: The Lost World, we had some rice and veg. before setting off on our 8.7km trek. Excellent stuff!

Half an hour later and I was sweating buckets. It's knackering work walking through the jungle in the swealtering heat, carrying a bag on your back and wearing trousers.

Let me tell you something about leeches. They're annoying - they're bloody annoying - literally - sucking all the blood out of you without you even realising they're there. They don't hert, they kind of itch, but they're always there, crawling around your ankles, slithering inside your socks and then sucking away at your blood, leaving horrible bloody marks all over your socks and trousers. They're not all that scary, they're not life-threatening, and they're not exactly huge - they're just a centimetre or so long, slimy, sticky and enjoy sucking your blood. What this means is that every few minutes, you have to keep looking down at your feet, looking for something moving - and if it is, get out a cigarette and burn it off, or try and whip it off with your finger, leaving a bloody wound.

Well, apart from leaches, and a horrible wetness all over, caused by excessive sweating rather than a tropical rainstorm, the walking was fun stuff. Walking through a forest is okay... no scrap that, it's boring crap. But walking through a rainforest *is* fun - climbing up the roots and buttresses of huge trees, slipping and sliding up rocky and muddy slopes, crossing streams by walking along logs - it's really quite exhilerating.

We were all, however, thoroughly relieved when Danger Mouse (our short local guide, who carried a bag which must have weighed as much as himself) announced that we were approaching the cave - our hotel for the night.

Now, you imagine staying in a cave (or at least I did) and you think of a small entrance and a few metres of space inside. What you don't expect is a huge cavernous void, taller than a cathedral, and larger than a mansion. Quite a cavernous cave really.

Of course a cave doesn't have bathroom facilities. Instead, we had to use trees and leaves for that (although taking a toilet roll also came in handy!). The first thing we had to do was collect some wood for a fire - to keep away the tigres and all the beasties - so we went and chopped down some tree roots (bigger than trees in England) and then took our disgusting, smelly clothes (especially shoes) off and just relaxed.

Just before we went to sleep we were disturbed by an Attack Of The Killer Rat - a huge rat which was trying eating our leftovers. A few stone throws later, the rat was gone (for about five minutes) and we managed to get some sleep. Unfortunately, an elephant didn't visit us in the cave that night - although there was elephant footprints in there, from one which visited recently. A couple of nights before though, I thought I heard an elephant whilst in the tent. Turns out it wasn't an elephant, but a chicken instad - a mistake anyone can make... damn it, anyone can make that mistake. They sound identical... I swear.

One of my wishes was to see a live snake in the wild, and this was realised in the morning. At first I couldn't see it, but after Danger Mouse poked around at it, it started slithering across the path in front of me. A snake! Whoppee! Regrettably, I can't tell you which kind of a snake it was, because he didn't know. But I'm sure it must have been poisonous (even if Danger Mouse said it wasn't)... yes, that's right, a poisonous, deadly snake, just a metre or so in front of me. Or at least that's how it felt.

Slightly less walking this second day, and by about 2pm we got to our hide where we'd stay that night. A high hide - looking out across a clearing so we could see leprechauns and the likes. Well... we watched out of the hide for ages, and apart from a few dinosaurs and blue-spotted-pink-elephants which were lurking around in the undergrowth, it was pretty uneventufl. Sure, we saw some birds and squirrels, but it was only when night came that something mildly interesting happened. There was a ruckus downstairs, and I heard something about a 'cat' so immediately presumed 'big scary tiger'. We went out with our torches (and bare feet) looking for this big scary tiger, and we shone the torch light right into its eye. Only later did we find out that it was just a fairly large cat (you know, like a domestic cat, but a bit bigger and of a different species) which wasn't that scary after all. Some people went on the prowl after some big scary spiders, and they found them - very poisonous ones, but I didn't because I didn't fancy treading on them without my shoes on.

Big tropical storm at night which was fun to watch, but that meant no animals - which was less fun to watch. Next day we just did an hour's walk, then something called 'tubing' down the river. Basically, this is a cross between Thunder River at Thorpe Park, and one of those rides in a waterpark where you're on a ring going down a flume. Only this time, you're in a big black ring big enough for one person, going down the rainforest's river for about two hours, getting nicely surnburnt, and enjoying the thrills of the rapids every now and then. An relaxing way to finish the three days of fun.

Other stuff...

2009-09-29: Emerald Acupuncture, Cambridge
2008-12-16: My yearbook company
2008-10-24: Benjamin Luke Flash Gordon
2006-06-07: Mr & Mrs Jake Gordon
2006-05-08: AllYearbooks.co.uk Relaunches!
2006-04-11: Building Collapse!
2006-04-03: Getting Married
2006-01-19: Estate Angels & Drupal
2005-09-10: Hard Drive Fried
2004-12-23: US Election Ohio Recount
2004-11-19: GlobalPublicMedia.com
2004-11-03: Peak Oil Dissertation
2004-07-15: Internet Explorer vs. Mozilla Firefox: Google Zeitgeist
2004-07-13: Fahrenheit 9/11 - good, but nothing new
2004-07-10: Fahrenheight 9/11
2004-07-03: Using the Disability Discriminatin Act (UK) to force companies to provide e-books
2004-06-20: Slashdotted
2004-06-08: Mr Jake BA
2004-06-05: JakeG Limited & Degree Results
2004-05-13: Yearbook Production
2004-04-25: No Jobs & No Oil: the unsustainability of full employment and cheap energy
2004-03-14: My Own Radio Station - For Free
2004-02-24: More on Peak Oil
2004-02-24: BBC License Fee Debate on Century FM
2004-02-24: New Blog!
2004-02-23: P2P Internet TV
2004-02-18: More Bleak Predictions
2004-02-11: Jobless Figures
2004-02-05: Ski Photos Online
2004-01-27: Ski Champ!!!
2004-01-18: Interesting copyright law with tape recordings
2004-01-12: Twisted economic values
2004-01-11: As I suspected - never trust unemployment figures
2004-01-08: Sociology essay: Internet and freedom
2003-12-19: Dissertation Plan
2003-12-07: Trampolining
2003-10-16: Sociology Essays
2003-10-12: Exploring Snowdonia
2003-10-10: Wireless Networking
2003-10-07: Disabling Education System
2003-09-19: Wealth Concentration & Technological Freedom
2003-08-31: Travel Photos
2003-08-27: Boy I'm glad to be back home
2003-08-24: The Real Mexico
2003-08-24: Argh... Airport, Travel Agency... Argh!!!
2003-08-24: Cigar Smuggling
2003-08-24: Marcela in Monterrey
2003-08-24: Cuban Brawl
2003-08-24: Socialism, The Cuban Way
2003-08-22: Cuban Prostitutes
2003-08-17: I do like to change my mind...
2003-08-16: Hammock Havan
2003-08-15: Capital Village and Belizean Quirkiness
2003-08-13: Robinson Crusoe
2003-08-11: Coke snorting policeman
2003-08-10: Dreams
2003-08-08: Are you okay? My name's Jake, I'm a rescue diver, may I help you?
2003-08-01: Industrial Action
2003-07-29: Honduras
2003-07-28: Almost Dead
2003-07-25: School's out for summer!!!
2003-07-21: Yo Hablo Espanol
2003-07-20: Twin Peaks
2003-07-16: 'First Class' Chickens
2003-07-16: Opa
2003-07-16: Waterfalls And Even More Ruins
2003-07-12: Jungle Ruins
2003-07-11: Pain In The Arse
2003-07-09: Guatemala and a Cunning Plan
2003-07-08: Hammock Haven
2003-07-04: Travelling Budderinos
2003-07-03: Cuban Cigars and Beached Turtles
2003-07-01: Rambo
2003-06-29: Go West!
2003-06-27: Pyramid Funkiness
2003-06-26: Hola! Je suis en Mexico!!!
2003-06-24: Photos for all!
2003-06-24: MexiGo
2003-05-14: musicdonor.org
2003-04-01: Mr Bump
2003-03-12: So maybe I will update
2003-03-11: Should I bother updating?
2002-01-24: Derby Hall President Elections
2001-11-26: Travels 2001 Photo Album - Online!
2001-10-24: I'm still alive... and having fun!
2001-09-28: Uni Life
2001-07-15: Home Life
2001-07-15: Hi Guys, I'm Home!
2001-07-07: I Can Fly!
2001-06-24: Brisbane Photos... And I'm Back Home (kinda)
2001-06-22: The Reunion
2001-06-21: Aussie Photos Up
2001-06-20: Bungyyyyyyyyy...
2001-06-18: Mindless Stagger
2001-06-17: Freezing My Nuts Off
2001-06-12: A Browne Moon Rise on Fraser Island
2001-06-07: Learn To Fly
2001-06-03: Gagaju - Backpackers Retreat
2001-05-31: Another Change Of Plans!
2001-05-30: Back To South East Asia?!
2001-05-16: A Memento of Brisbane
2001-04-30: We All Live In A Yellow Submarine
2001-04-24: Perhenthian Islands Photos Up
2001-04-20: Aussie Life
2001-04-08: Mumma In Thailand
2001-04-06: Thai Boxing and Lady Boys
2001-04-05: Go Go Bars
2001-04-04: More India Photos Up - I'm In Bangkok
2001-04-02: Back In The Womb
2001-03-29: India Photos Up
2001-03-28: Noname
2001-03-27: Scuba Diving and Motorcycling on Koh Pha-Ngan
2001-03-25: Lady Bars
2001-03-24: Koh Samui
2001-03-24: All Washed Out
2001-03-22: Krabi
2001-03-22: Happy 5th Birthday To Me!
2001-03-20: The Island
2001-03-20: Under The Sea
2001-03-20: Such A Fantastic Time
2001-03-20: The Wedding Invitation
2001-03-12: Camping, Jungle Style
2001-03-12: Alone Again
2001-03-12: A Cave, a Snake and a Leprechaun
2001-03-12: Theme Park & KL Stuff
2001-03-12: Taman Negara National Park - arrival
2001-03-03: The Con-Job
2001-03-03: Kuala Lumpur
2001-02-26: Malaysia
2001-02-23: Night Safari, The Beach & Underwater World
2001-02-22: Time Travel
2001-02-22: Planes, Trains & Automobiles
2001-02-19: Indian Work: Child labour, wage and baksheesh
2001-02-15: Books and Weird Shit
2001-02-14: To Spew Or Not To Spew
2001-02-12: Imprisoned for 42 hours!
2001-02-09: Museums, forts, palaces and temples
2001-02-05: Horn Please
2001-02-03: A Week In... Kashmir!
2001-01-28: I'm In India!
2001-01-27: Plane in just over 4 hours!
2001-01-23: Only a few days to go
2001-01-06: Posse Page
2001-01-05: Travel Plans