Jake Gordon

Coke snorting policeman

11th August 2003

Travelling aint quite the same as tourism. Difference being that tourists follow tours, getting everything done for them, whilst they just relax. Travellers - like me - on the other hand, do everything themselves, usually taking the cheapest options, usually the same as what the locals take everywhere. The last two days have been big travelling days. I finished by diving on the Cay off of Utila, did a few fun dives then went back to Utila for a night. There was a pretty cool bar there, Coco-Loco, which was all outisde on the dock. Crap, that reminds me to mention Sun Jam which was a big 'cool' party that happened on a Cay near my one last weekend. It was, apparently, really good, but I was just way too tired for it and ended up basically just trying to sleep on manky hard sand. Then, when the sun came up, I did a half hour swim back to my Cay. Fun!

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, you want to find out about the coke snorting policeman right? In a minute.

So, yeah, I was talking about 'travelling'. On Utila then woke at 5.30 to get a 6.30 ferry back to Honduras mainland, a town called La Ceiba. That took a couple of hours, cost $10. Then got a 3 hour $3 bus to San Pedro. Then from there a 'chicken-bus' for another 1hours/$1. Then another 2.5hour/$1.50 jourey to the border town, Corinto. No other foreigners/gringos at all by this point. Got an exit stamp in my passport, and jumped on the back of a pickup truck for $.50. What has to be mentioned, though, is that I only just had enough local money for the whole thing. Like, with about $1 left over!!! I was pretty damn lucky really.

Yeah, so then I'm on this pickup truck going into Guatemala. Get off it, get an entry visa, jump back in. Then I've got like $30 of Guatemalan money left over from my last visit there a week or so ago. So budget yet again. Jump out the pickup, and into another little minibus/'collectivo' which takes me, surprisingly, all the way to Puerto Barrios for just $1. Nice.

So I'm walking to a nice $5 budget hotel to get one night before getting a boat to Belize the next morning, and some guy tells me, in Spanish of course, which I do pretty well to understand/converse in, that the hotel I'm going to is a bit skanky, and people steal your stuff. Of course I'm not stupid so think he's just trying to make a bit of commission by taking me to some other place. But then he shows me his police badge, so I figure he's pretty legit. He explains how he's out of uniform, but makes a pretty big thing of his badge. He's in the 'information' police, which sounds a bit 1984 Orwellian, but basically means tourist police. People who help tourists. So he takes me to this other cheap hotel. I'm thinking he wants some commission still, then he'll get lost. But he stays around, and comes to my room and asks if I wanna get a beer with him in a bit. Nope... but I tell him yeah, whatever, anyway. Then a couple of minutes later he comes back again and he's got a beer and a Pepsi. Gives the beer to me, and I'm like, crap, I'm gonna have to pay for that, I'd better have enough money for that boat tomorrow, being the cheapskate that I am. Oh, I should mention that I don't actually have any US $ after having done some money swapping with fellow diver Phoebe the day before - in a cunning attempt to save myself around $30 and Phoebe about $10 - so if I ran out of Guatemalan currency then I was kinda a bit screwed. But I drink some with him, and he goes into the room next door which has a nicer fan. Then he gets a little plastic bag, real small, out his pocket with some white 'stuff' in it. Which he kindly explains is coke, offering me some.

Shite. Is this guy trying to set me up? Get me doing some hard drugs then busting me and bribing me? Wanker. I don't even want any of the shit. "No para mi, todo bien gracias" so he says he'll just do it himself, on my bed mind you. "No acqi, en autro habitacion por favor". By now he's putting the cocaine on some paper, and explains to me that he's going to be snorting the stuff. Anyway, after a few minutes of gentle persuasion, I manage to get this dick out of my room and lock the door. He keeps coming back though, asking me if I wanna be his friend and all kinds of crap. I tell him "tengo sueno, duermo ahora" and turn my light off so he thinks I'm sleeping. Then I sneak out to get some food because I haven't actually eaten or drunk all day, as I didn't have enough Honduran money.

Well, get back from the restaurant and realise he's actually staying in the room next to mine. And he still wants to be my friend. Of course he's a bit whacked out on coke by now, or whatever it does to you. Oh, yeah, and I only drunk half the beer beause I thought it might have been drugged in a cunning scheme to get all my money, as per a story I heard when I was in India about a women who was drugged up in Bangkok and had thousands taken on her credit cards. Anyway, I paid him over-the-odds ($2) for this half-drunk beer, and tell him to get lost again. And he tells me how he's my friend, and he's gonna help me get the boat the next day. Hell no. Next morning, after fearing I'd get a police raid during the night, probably part of the reason for inducing yet more bizarre dreams (this time involving an orgy Rosanna decided to have back home), I made a quick and quiet escape. Phew!

Err, yeah, this is getting pretty long. Let's wrap it up: so I don't have quite enough Guatemalan money now. Not enough to get my exit stamp and boat ticket. Screw. Fortunately though, the boat place accepts credit cards, so I use that. And get out of Honduras, get a bus up to Placencia, and am there now. Yay!!!

Other stuff...

2009-09-29: Emerald Acupuncture, Cambridge
2008-12-16: My yearbook company
2008-10-24: Benjamin Luke Flash Gordon
2006-06-07: Mr & Mrs Jake Gordon
2006-05-08: AllYearbooks.co.uk Relaunches!
2006-04-11: Building Collapse!
2006-04-03: Getting Married
2006-01-19: Estate Angels & Drupal
2005-09-10: Hard Drive Fried
2004-12-23: US Election Ohio Recount
2004-11-19: GlobalPublicMedia.com
2004-11-03: Peak Oil Dissertation
2004-07-15: Internet Explorer vs. Mozilla Firefox: Google Zeitgeist
2004-07-13: Fahrenheit 9/11 - good, but nothing new
2004-07-10: Fahrenheight 9/11
2004-07-03: Using the Disability Discriminatin Act (UK) to force companies to provide e-books
2004-06-20: Slashdotted
2004-06-08: Mr Jake BA
2004-06-05: JakeG Limited & Degree Results
2004-05-13: Yearbook Production
2004-04-25: No Jobs & No Oil: the unsustainability of full employment and cheap energy
2004-03-14: My Own Radio Station - For Free
2004-02-24: More on Peak Oil
2004-02-24: BBC License Fee Debate on Century FM
2004-02-24: New Blog!
2004-02-23: P2P Internet TV
2004-02-18: More Bleak Predictions
2004-02-11: Jobless Figures
2004-02-05: Ski Photos Online
2004-01-27: Ski Champ!!!
2004-01-18: Interesting copyright law with tape recordings
2004-01-12: Twisted economic values
2004-01-11: As I suspected - never trust unemployment figures
2004-01-08: Sociology essay: Internet and freedom
2003-12-19: Dissertation Plan
2003-12-07: Trampolining
2003-10-16: Sociology Essays
2003-10-12: Exploring Snowdonia
2003-10-10: Wireless Networking
2003-10-07: Disabling Education System
2003-09-19: Wealth Concentration & Technological Freedom
2003-08-31: Travel Photos
2003-08-27: Boy I'm glad to be back home
2003-08-24: The Real Mexico
2003-08-24: Argh... Airport, Travel Agency... Argh!!!
2003-08-24: Cigar Smuggling
2003-08-24: Marcela in Monterrey
2003-08-24: Cuban Brawl
2003-08-24: Socialism, The Cuban Way
2003-08-22: Cuban Prostitutes
2003-08-17: I do like to change my mind...
2003-08-16: Hammock Havan
2003-08-15: Capital Village and Belizean Quirkiness
2003-08-13: Robinson Crusoe
2003-08-11: Coke snorting policeman
2003-08-10: Dreams
2003-08-08: Are you okay? My name's Jake, I'm a rescue diver, may I help you?
2003-08-01: Industrial Action
2003-07-29: Honduras
2003-07-28: Almost Dead
2003-07-25: School's out for summer!!!
2003-07-21: Yo Hablo Espanol
2003-07-20: Twin Peaks
2003-07-16: 'First Class' Chickens
2003-07-16: Opa
2003-07-16: Waterfalls And Even More Ruins
2003-07-12: Jungle Ruins
2003-07-11: Pain In The Arse
2003-07-09: Guatemala and a Cunning Plan
2003-07-08: Hammock Haven
2003-07-04: Travelling Budderinos
2003-07-03: Cuban Cigars and Beached Turtles
2003-07-01: Rambo
2003-06-29: Go West!
2003-06-27: Pyramid Funkiness
2003-06-26: Hola! Je suis en Mexico!!!
2003-06-24: Photos for all!
2003-06-24: MexiGo
2003-05-14: musicdonor.org
2003-04-01: Mr Bump
2003-03-12: So maybe I will update
2003-03-11: Should I bother updating?
2002-01-24: Derby Hall President Elections
2001-11-26: Travels 2001 Photo Album - Online!
2001-10-24: I'm still alive... and having fun!
2001-09-28: Uni Life
2001-07-15: Home Life
2001-07-15: Hi Guys, I'm Home!
2001-07-07: I Can Fly!
2001-06-24: Brisbane Photos... And I'm Back Home (kinda)
2001-06-22: The Reunion
2001-06-21: Aussie Photos Up
2001-06-20: Bungyyyyyyyyy...
2001-06-18: Mindless Stagger
2001-06-17: Freezing My Nuts Off
2001-06-12: A Browne Moon Rise on Fraser Island
2001-06-07: Learn To Fly
2001-06-03: Gagaju - Backpackers Retreat
2001-05-31: Another Change Of Plans!
2001-05-30: Back To South East Asia?!
2001-05-16: A Memento of Brisbane
2001-04-30: We All Live In A Yellow Submarine
2001-04-24: Perhenthian Islands Photos Up
2001-04-20: Aussie Life
2001-04-08: Mumma In Thailand
2001-04-06: Thai Boxing and Lady Boys
2001-04-05: Go Go Bars
2001-04-04: More India Photos Up - I'm In Bangkok
2001-04-02: Back In The Womb
2001-03-29: India Photos Up
2001-03-28: Noname
2001-03-27: Scuba Diving and Motorcycling on Koh Pha-Ngan
2001-03-25: Lady Bars
2001-03-24: Koh Samui
2001-03-24: All Washed Out
2001-03-22: Krabi
2001-03-22: Happy 5th Birthday To Me!
2001-03-20: The Island
2001-03-20: Under The Sea
2001-03-20: Such A Fantastic Time
2001-03-20: The Wedding Invitation
2001-03-12: Camping, Jungle Style
2001-03-12: Alone Again
2001-03-12: A Cave, a Snake and a Leprechaun
2001-03-12: Theme Park & KL Stuff
2001-03-12: Taman Negara National Park - arrival
2001-03-03: The Con-Job
2001-03-03: Kuala Lumpur
2001-02-26: Malaysia
2001-02-23: Night Safari, The Beach & Underwater World
2001-02-22: Time Travel
2001-02-22: Planes, Trains & Automobiles
2001-02-19: Indian Work: Child labour, wage and baksheesh
2001-02-15: Books and Weird Shit
2001-02-14: To Spew Or Not To Spew
2001-02-12: Imprisoned for 42 hours!
2001-02-09: Museums, forts, palaces and temples
2001-02-05: Horn Please
2001-02-03: A Week In... Kashmir!
2001-01-28: I'm In India!
2001-01-27: Plane in just over 4 hours!
2001-01-23: Only a few days to go
2001-01-06: Posse Page
2001-01-05: Travel Plans